Sluggish

He wished he was better than this. Better than this sluggish kind of a man. This man that couldn't speak well and couldn't express the feelings that he wanted to express. There was a lot he would like to express but the words never came out when he wanted. Some weeks it would go better for him but there always was this turning point. And the turning point always came out of nowhere like a dark period experienced by a manic depressive not yet diagnosed. He felt alone, not because he was all by himself (he was used to that) but because everyone acted like everything was okay.