Deserted

You ever heard of no man's land?

It's a place where nobody owns anything.

Or it might be a place where you don't know anybody.

Only stranger who can offer you a smile or a disapproving look.

But what does that mean.

If you return home and nobody is waiting for you.

Sometimes I like to be in that place.

But more often it kills me.

To walk another day in deserted land.

The Listening Ear

I talked to her about the weather.
The change of it all.
The snow that returned.
Where do you live?

Brown eyes respond.
A little smile curling up.

Just the notion that somebody listens.
That's all people really need.
Satellites, radars and radio's.
They are all designed to expand and reach.
The listening ear.

Universe

It's a strange feeling being a part of the universe now.
After hiding myself for eight years.
Blocking every emotion but anger.
Clocking time that went away.
I'm fighting to get it back.
But it won't return.

I can only catch up on lost time.
Minute by minute, second by second.
Hand by hand, kiss by kiss.
I will take every chance I get.
Holding my proud.
On my way I go.

I Love(d) You

Making music makes my mind at ease. A hobby I've been practicing for years. Just to express myself.

Stay

The sky stays static as I watch.
That's why it brings me peace.
Everybody is running around.
I stay.

What are they all trying to proof?
The tricks of nature.
Lust rips me to pieces.
Trying to find myself.

I'm stopping.
Let the universe guide me.
I'm searching hopelessly.
But it brings me nothing.

Let me watch the moon and stay.

Waves

A big mist.
Alone at sea.
Footsteps and seashells.
Looking into my own soul.
Few good things have happened.
More bad things came my way.
Like a flood of waves.
Giving and taking away.
I almost lost myself.
Because of everything the sea took.
Humbled me as much as it could.
The big eye of the universe is still holding me in sight.
Till I disappear in the waves of eternity.
But not now, I have things to catch up on.
Love to give to someone who needs it more than me.
And in retrospect, I did give it all.
It was meant like this.
To keep me going.
Thank you.

Shifting sands

I scrawl words.
They are drawn together.
By my mind.
I'm still standing.
Under pressure.
Holding my balance.
I thought, but I was.
Sinking deep.
Into shifting sands.

You can only make your own safe ground.
Tried that hopelessly.
I tripped.
Fell.
Got hurt.
Gave up.
Hands spread, body and mind.
Collected again.
After laying there.
For hours.
I made my decision.
To try again and again and again.

Her eyes

She is looking, gazing into the sky. 

What she sees is only for her to know. 

There is a song in her head. 

And while she gazes, she remembers, everything.

Fugitive

Sometimes I feel like a fugitive.
Tension underneath my skin.
When I enter a room full of people I look for the nearest exit.
Looking into eyes, hoping they won't start talking.
I look at small things, distracting myself from the tension.
Hoping to escape when too much people are around.
At days like this it seems the world is against me or the other way around.
I share my feeling with a girl who can't and don't want to hear my sorrow anymore.
And she stands in her right for feeling that way.
I have to close this chapter and start a new one, on my own.
Stop hoping for a save return and build a new home.

Walk with me

I have feet to walk.
A universe to worry about.
Things to find.
A Treasure.
And die.
Philosophize about nothing and everything.
Talk with your peers.
For me, I have none.
They will come.
Later.
It will never be too late.
I have to remember that.
As long as I am alive.

Love #3

I still love her.
It's a problem.
I rather stab myself than go back.
Forget.
Forget.
Forget.
And be strong.

Rest

How long can I hide this time?
I had myself hidden before.
What might be my salvation is.
Patience.
I need saving.
Somebody watched over me.
For some time.
Now that is gone there is an emptiness.
I found peace in myself.
For just a moment.
I think somebody has to find peace in me.
Before I find rest.

Sadness

I can survive off sadness.
And a little madness won't kill me either.

Mistake

I will make much more mistakes.
I have to remember, to feel good about the next one.

Know

Not much is normal.
Not much.
Is there.
Being lost.
Like this.
Sadness.
Big world.
Small mind.
Smaller minds.
Surround me.
They don't know.
Anything.
Do they?

Dead Wrong

I'm dead again.
A ghost among them.
Holding my silence.

I'm still here but I'm far away.
Far away from what I could be.
I have to solve this myself.
I thought the puzzle in my mind was solved.

But I was wrong.
Dead wrong.
I need time.

The Past

Maar ik was te bang om het in te zien. 

Ze was te mooi om te laten gaan. 

Ze heeft me teveel liefde gegeven om haar zonder pijn te kunnen vergeten. 

Het is mooi als dat het verschrikkelijk is, liefde is soms om te huilen zo mooi.



But I was too afraid to see.
She was too beautiful to let go.
She gave me too much love to forget without pain.
It is wonderful as it is terrible, love can be beautiful enough to make you cry.

Purpose

They are the carriers of love and care.
It's like I can see them think.
"Let the man worry about things that are not important.
We will carry the heavy load."
The load we carry home.
They know more than us.

I realize more then ever that I need you.
Without you I have no purpose.
Even if it's only one I will have.
I will praise all of you.

Just like you

You can only give me words that will lead to more pain.
I was longing for this for so long and just at the moment I touched.
It got swept away before my eyes.
And now I'm back where I once began.
I don't know if I could face it again.
Or that I will even get another chance.
I got punished, at least that's how it feels.
Further I go without you holding my hand.
Without my hands warming you.
Laying with your head in my lap.
Sleep till we arrive, with me by your side we push throughout the rain.
And become greater than we are.
Cancel the dreams that could have been made.
Promises gone like you never spoke them out loud.
My children won't have your eyes or your smile.
They won't be there.
I won't be here to witness the canceled dream.
Because I made a new one, just like you.

Without

Rain is all there is today.
Wasting time.
Throwing everything in a pit of nothing.
Nothing to pursue, if there is nothing.
If there is nothing, everything is just everything without me.