Thoughts

He was there, again. Looking at himself in the windows of the shops he passed while thinking. Thinking of what his future might hold. "The past is gone and will never return. It will never return to me so I can erase my mistakes and replace them with the knowledge I have now", he thought. "It seemed impossible to live before". He remembered the last time he cried and looked on his watch. Anything to distract him from his thoughts but seeing the time go by made him shiver. He looked down on the ground in a puddle of water and saw his own reflection. He heard several footsteps in the distance. He shook his head in disbelief how he could make himself suffer like this and continued to walk the street. "My soul only feels free when I am by myself. But I don't want my soul to be free, i want it to be torn apart. When it was torn apart I felt alive." He remembered her, still, after all those years. "The first one you really love, is the one who can teach you what pain means, show you that you have a heart, that there is a pain that you can feel without being physically harmed." He remembered how he felt and started laughing. "It was beautiful", he said quietly.